


Undercover

by Lente



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-02 16:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10948593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lente/pseuds/Lente
Summary: It's like he's spent his entire life undercover, wearing someone else's skin. He's lived this way for so long that he's forgotten how to be himself. Forgotten all the things he locked away and buried deep in his heart. Forgotten how to be free.It isn't until he sees Magnus walking down the aisle that he remembers the taste of life again.Or:A series of first times for Alec and Magnus.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Alec sees Magnus is also the only time his gaze merely casually glazes over his presence. Pandemonium is hot and crowded and loud, three adjectives in life Alec hates. His hand is on his blade, his eyes are on Jace’s back and he moves through the sweaty mob awkwardly. It’s hard to disappear when every move pushes your arm against a new back or torso or swinging elbow, and even harder for Alec to blend into the bouncing crowd when he can’t even step in sync with their feverish movements. He’s never understood what it means to “feel the beat”. Alec doesn’t understand a lot of things that are easy for most people. His comfort zone is the training ground or even better, the battlefield. That’s where he understands actions, movements, timing. That’s where he finds rhythm, where he breaks opponents beat by beat, with a grace and comfort that he lacks in the rest of life.

He spots Magnus while scanning the far corners of the club. Lounging on a black leather couch, surrounded by scarcely clothed men and women alike, Magnus looks the exact opposite of how Alec feels: composed, relaxed, effortless. A woman covered in metal spikes feeds him a drink with something akin to reverence in her eyes, and to Alec it seems the most natural thing in the world. 

This man was made to be adored.

But when he turns his face in Alec’s direction, there’s something familiar. A hint of that feeling that burns in Alec’s own throat when he’s only just in time to catch a blow for Jace, when he watches Izzy leave for a mission by herself, when he knows the blade Max trains with is real. For a second, he wonders if he’s having some kind of _moment_ with this random stranger across the room before he realizes Magnus’s eyes are fixed on something behind him. _Stupid_ , he thinks before seeking out Izzy’s platinum wig in the crowd.

*****

They meet for the first time while Alec is the one who’s effortless. He has a bad feeling about the meeting Jace and Clary set up with Brooklyn’s High Warlock to retrieve Clary’s memories, and the unusual emptiness in Pandemonium following the news of Valentine’s return unsettles him even more. Magnus is there as promised though, and those strangely familiar eyes somehow calm him. Enough to take his mind off the way Jace looks at Clary at least.

As soon as he spots the light reflecting off the blade right behind Jace his bow rises on instinct and a second later he’s rushing past them to check the disabled assassin on the floor for weapons. He hardly even notices Magnus’s gaze on his back as the shock of seeing a circle rune outside the Institute rushes through his veins.

He finds himself in the same situation only a few hours later. Instincts kick in again as he realizes the warlock’s home is under attack and he rushes through the lair. But this time, as Magnus turns his back to the second assassin of the night taken down by one of Alec’s arrows, the comfort of battle is knocked out of him. A contraction in his throat that he swallows down before he finally manages to force out his name in introduction. A hitch in his breath as Magnus’s eyes lock on his own. _Words_ , he reminds himself, _use your words_ , but instead he clumsily points to the door as he mumbles something about _help_ and _others_. When Magnus nods he moves away quickly, relieved he can breathe again as battle flows back into his lungs.

Later, with Magnus’s finger trained on his chest and “pretty boy” ringing in his ears, he forgets his words again. So instead, he shrugs while half a smile escapes his lips and somehow, he thinks maybe words aren’t everything either.

*****

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Alec,” Magnus says. His breath leaves goosebumps on Alec’s skin. Alec forces himself to avert his eyes, both to hide what they might reveal and to steer his thoughts away from the fingers trailing over his arm.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Alec steps back slightly, until he hits a wall that he’s sure wasn’t there before.

Magnus closes the distance between them, hands pushing against the wall on both sides of Alec’s face. His stare is intense, causing a tension to build deep in Alec’s stomach and a warmth to spread over his cheeks.

“You will,” Magnus whispers. “I think you already do, deep down.”

He leans his forehead against Alec’s and breathes “Let me show you.”

Alec sits up with a start, the side of his head bumping roughly against the car window. Izzy’s face appears from behind the driver’s seat, a slight frown on her face.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Yeah,” he manages. “Weird dream.”

It’s when he realizes for the first time that something important is changing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec and Magnus share their first phone call (which really doesn't count), and their second (which does).

Alec is having a bad day. Which is definitely not a first - who is he kidding, Alec is pretty much having a bad _year_ . He honestly can’t remember the last time he woke up without a zinging pressure behind his eyes, a buzz his _iratzes_ can only seem to dull for a few hours before he finds himself rubbing his temples again. And seeing his mother in the Institute, Izzy and Clary in tow, nose scrunched up as if she smells something nasty and heels clicking aggressively, is definitely not helping.

 

“Mother,” he says in what he hopes is a warm and definitely not weary voice, and he politely kisses her on the cheek.

 

“We didn’t expect you,” escapes him next and he immediately regrets his words as Maryse gives him a stern glance. As she lets go of his shoulders so she can properly look him over, he can’t stop himself from nervously shuffling his feet while he exchanges a quick look with Jace who’s standing next to him, looking perfectly relaxed and confident as usual.

 

“You should be ready, whether you expect me or not.”

 

Behind her, Alec sees Clary throw him a disbelieving look as she mouths a silent “that’s your mom?”. He just shrugs. Clary may be a Shadowhunter, but she definitely doesn’t understand everything that comes with the name. The sacrifices they have to make to fulfill their duty to their people and to their families. The price they have to pay for the privilege to be soldiers.

 

He carefully watches his mother circle around Izzy as she tells them about the refusal of the Seelies to communicate with the Clave. Silently, he begs his sister not to bring up Meliorn but when has Izzy ever chosen to be smart over rash?

 

“I have Seelie friends.”

 

Izzy’s voice sounds clear and - is that a hint of rebelliousness? His mother definitely picks up on it as she responds coldly “Yes, I know all about your _friends._ ” And something about her rant that follows about staying separate from Downworlders and how it’s impossible to know what these _creatures_ want brings his thoughts back to Magnus. To soft eyes and a light touch on his arm and a body that radiates caring. To quiet whispers without judgement and a voice that echoes understanding. He doesn’t think he’s met anyone more _human_ than Magnus Bane.

 

*****

 

“Try again,” he commands as Clary peels herself off the training room floor. “Watch your balance. Be aware of your feet, plan them wide.” She glares at him but he just taps his stick at the inside of her legs, moving them wider.

 

“Why did you let your mom say all those awful things about Izzy?” Clary demands and Alec strikes at her just a little bit harder than he usually would in a sparring session. She grunts and barely stops herself from falling backwards, but it doesn’t make Alec feel better. He wishes he had more of Izzy’s fierce and blinding loyalty sometimes - he _knows_ she would have stood up for him if the situation were the other way around. Except the situation is never the other way around because Alec is never the one to break the rules.

 

“Step through the strike,” he says and waves at Clary to lean more forward. As he critically assesses her posture, he adds, “Izzy was out of line. The Law is hard but it is the Law,” and strikes again, faster this time, but to his surprise, Clary blocks him.

 

“So what, you’re just going to sit there and watch Jace do your job?”

 

He pushes hard against Clary but she doesn’t budge, using her weight as leverage to his strike. He might actually be a little impressed with how quickly she’s improving, though he would never say that out loud.

 

“If I screw up, I expect to be punished.”

 

He steps back, releasing her, and turns his staff, preparing for a new set of blows.

 

“I’m supposed to be a leader.”

 

He isn’t sure who he’s trying to convince.

 

“You know what a leader does, Alec?”

 

Clary looks at him with a viciousness that reminds him of a young Izzy. He steps in but she sees through him and turns, mimicking one of his evasion moves.

 

“A leader makes decisions,” she spits. “You need to find Valentine so you can stop him. I need to find Valentine to save my mother.”

 

 _Enough_ , Alec thinks. He’s had enough of Clary whine about her mother like a single life is worth more than the fate of New York, of the world perhaps. Being a Shadowhunter is about making the right choices, even when they’re hard, especially when they’re hard. That’s why he keeps such a tight grip on his emotions, it’s not like he _enjoys_ being distant and indifferent to everyone he meets. Though after all these years, he’s not sure he’s capable of being something else anymore.

 

He lands a series of blows and then kicks at Clary’s feet when she’s focused on his staff, effectively toppling her on her ass.

 

“You need to work on your defense,” he says coldly, and is spared her undoubtedly short-sighted and self-centered reply when he hears his phone.

 

A number he doesn’t recognize lights up his screen and he’s surprised to hear “Alexander” in an already too familiar voice. Weirdly, Magnus sounds almost - _nervous_ \- as he reminds Alec of who he is. As if Alec could forget.

 

“What’s up?” Alec asks, and instinctively he starts walking towards his bow just in case Magnus is under attack again. He can’t really think of a different reason for this call.

 

“It was nice getting to know you - you seem, sympathetic,” Magnus answers and Alec can hardly believe what is happening; is Magnus actually _rambling_?

 

“I was wondering if you would like to go out for a drink sometime?” Magnus finally finishes. Alec doesn’t really know what to say to that, but somehow Clary’s words still echo in his mind. _A leader makes decisions_. Fuck it, he thinks and before he knows it his reply has left his lips.

 

“When?”

 

Mentally he kicks himself because is he’s pretty sure he’s not supposed to be this eager. A moment of silence confirms his worries.

 

“How about right now?”

 

Magnus sounds almost as relieved as Alec feels and he turns around to find Clary.

 

Except Clary is nowhere to be seen.

 

 _Shit,_ he curses silently and quickly replies “Now’s not really a good time for me.”

 

He hangs up before he even realises that he probably should have said something more. Alec is pretty sure Clary is the worst thing that happened to him since his mother broke his nose in front of the entire Shadowhunter Academy when he was twelve.

 

*****

 

“Magnus,” Alec pants as he watches the car that took Clary disappear in the distance. “I need - Someone took - “

 

He takes a step back into Clary’s old backyard and leans against a brick wall, catching his breath.

 

“I didn’t know who else to call,” he admits when he realizes he has no idea why he called Magnus, just that it’s the first thing he thought to do as panic slammed into him. Which is probably a bit disturbing considering he only met the man yesterday, but Alec really doesn’t have the mental availability to reflect on that now.

 

“As much as I’m charmed by you in a breathless state, Alexander, I’d rather hoped it would be under different circumstances,” Magnus replies and though Alec is definitely not in the mood for teasing he can’t help but smile at the lightness in Magnus’s voice, which he suspects is intended to calm him.

 

“God, Magnus, you sure know how to reassure a man,” he laughs and some of the tension bleeds out of him as he leans his head back and rolls his shoulders.

 

“I live to serve, Shadowhunter,” and though the tone remains amused, Alec thinks he hears a trace of bitterness in the remark.

 

“I didn’t mean - That’s not - ,” he hurries to explain himself clumsily.

 

“I’m not calling you because you’re our High Warlock. I’m calling you because my entire family is apparently obsessed with a stranger who also happens to be Valentine’s daughter, who I just lost to what I think are two werewolves and I have no idea how to explain this without Jace breaking my face.”

 

He takes a breath just to reflect on how stupid that sounds and shakes his head at himself before saying, “Sorry Magnus - I know this has nothing to do with you and you probably have better things to do. I - I don’t know what came over me.” _Or why I’m telling you this_ , Alec adds silently because he honestly has no idea why he has this sudden urge to spill his guts to a _Warlock_ he only met _yesterday_.

 

Right when the silence has stretched on for so long that Alec is starting to think of polite ways to end this increasingly uncomfortable conversation, Magnus speaks.

 

“If you’re sure they were werewolves, it’s likely Lucian Graymark is involved. He is…” a short pause as if Magnus is trying to reveal enough, but not too much.

 

“He used to be close to Jocelyn, so likely he knows about her disappearance and he might try to seek out Clarissa.”

 

 _Lucian Graymark_ , Alec thinks and the name triggers something in his mind.

 

“Graymark, isn’t that - ,“ he starts, and Magnus affirms.

 

“Indeed, Valentine’s former _parabatai_ turned Downworlder. Werewolf to be precise.”

 

“Jesus,” Alec breathes, as the implications of this new complication centered on Clary Fray hit him.

 

“He’s a good man, Alexander,” Magnus continues and Alec senses a change in tone, a hint of steel now lacing Magnus’s smooth voice. Like a threat, or maybe like Magnus thinks Alec might be a threat. It makes him shift uncomfortably as he replies, “Ok, I understand,” followed by a beat of silence and a soft “I trust your judgement.”

 

“That’s wise, Alexander,” Magnus retorts and it sounds so easy, bordering on flirtatious that Alec almost thinks he imagined the frosty moment between them.

 

“Thanks Magnus. And sorry for hanging up on you earlier,” he says and he can practically _hear_ Magnus smile through the phone as he answers, “Plenty of time to make it up to me, Alexander.”

 

Alec sighs as he pulls up Jace’s number on his screen. At least now he has a lead on Clary to delay Jace from breaking his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: the first time Alec worries about Magnus.


End file.
